Man of the House: Part 1
by darkryubaby
Summary: Keiko is a force to be reckoned with. A violent force.


**Man of the House**

**Part 1: She's the man**

Keiko was a patient woman. I mean, who wouldn't be when waiting for your new found demonic boyfriend/ fiance to return for a boring period of three years, but when it came to having to deal with _this_, she understood why Hiei always clenched his swords handle when in the presence of Kuwabara for more then 5 seconds.

She didn't know **why** he was still standing there, acting as if his resent actions weren't bordering on stalkerish. How he had thought that she wasn't in any way possible extremely freaked- out will haunt her thoughts for the rest of the night.

" And so wondering if you would like to-"

_'Dude!' _she thought, once again spacing him out, _' Do you not see the ring?'_ Yes, that's right, ring. As in wedding ring... when one is _married._ Yukimura Keiko was now Urameshi Keiko as of 4 years ago and was the proud mother of Urameshi Kaoru, now three. It would seem this guy didn't get the memo.

Now that she thought about it, who the hell _was _he?

Keiko may have married a juvenile delinquent at the young age of 18, but she was by no means stupid. Maybe it came from be a A student or then again, having Hiei, the miniature shadow, as a semi- friend, but if Keiko knew one thing for sure, it was when she was being stalked.

She had defiantly been stalked.

Being able to confront the person at last wasn't as comforting a thought as she believed. Sure, she was one hell of a force to be reckoned with but right now now she felt like Hiei standing next to Togouro. Confident, but awkward.

"- I hear the scenery is absolutely magnificent from their rear entrance. It would be the perfect romantic start for us-"

_Romant_ic?!! What the hell was this freak going on about?

"Whoa, Whoa, Slow down weird guy. Who are you and **what** are you talking about?" She said, robbing her temples to stop the noise of the parters from making her snap.

He paused, confused. Then he smiled down at her as if she had just sad the cutest thing ever. "I'm your boyfriend, sweety."

Wait. Pause. Backtrack.

_BOYFRIEND?!_

Okay, she was officially freaked out now. Maybe she should call for Yusuke. He was over there in the corner, sitting at their table with a giggling Kaoru in his lap. No, wait. He would make it worst. Probably knock the freak into a 15 year coma. Comforting as that thought may be, Keiko wasn't in the mood for paper work. As a 20 year mother of one and babysitter of two, she was not going to put her pride on the line by going to Yusuke. Sweet as he could be, he was still a immature ass.

"Listen...sir," he cut her off.

"Seito." Her eye twitched.

"...**Sir**. It would seem you've got something wrong. I'm married."

"Ha. Oh yes. To _him._"

Was he on crack?

He went on."I always figured it wouldn't last long. Him being completely out of your league. I understand though. Every girl has that want for what they would call the 'Bad boy' type (and Yusuke was defiantly that) but in the end they always go back to want is good for them. For you, that would me. I mean, sure you pushed out his brat for him(_excuse _me?!) but, we can always cleanse you of that. As for your 'husband', well there's always the trash were he came from."

She frowned and it was at that point he had the nerve to put his hand her shoulder. So, like any sexually harassed heroine, she kneed him in the groin and he dropped faster than kurama could crack his whip.

If there was one thing that made her mad, it was listening to some jackass talk trash about her family. Yusuke may have not had the best backround and they may not live in an area of luxury but, they didn't let those type of things bother them. They loved each other. How can she be so sure? Yusuke may not be suave but, he showed Keiko his love _every single night._

At this point, Keiko had attracted a small bit of attention. The first she noticed was Yusuke, who was preparing to set Kaoru on the floor, a concerned frown on his face. Before he could though, Seito or whatever his name was, returned to a standing position, though obviously pained. He was crack alright. Yusukes frown deepened but, she held her had up to stop him. Keiko was now in a sour mood.

"Sweety, what was that for? I was only stating the facts. After all, you're **my** woman and ever woman needs a good man in her life. Is it because of the brat? Don't worry. There's always the orphanage-" Keiko must have snapped, because the next thing she knew was she was being pulled off a bloody faced Setio by no other then Yusuke. After confirming he was still in the land of the consciously aware, she went of on him.

"Listen here you little _Bitch_!!" She could hear people gasping around her, because it was well known that Keiko, a Urameshi now or not, did not curse. "You are the most pathetic thing I have ever had the unfortunate time of being stalked by(STALKED?!! was Yusukes reply)!!! I believe that it has been made perfectly clear that I am NOT interested and even if I wanted to leave my husband, I'd rather fuck a angry Hiei then touch you in a drunken influenced daze!!!!"

Somewhere in one of the over looking tree branches, a fire demon choked.

"Never talk about what's mine again or you find out what it like to get bitch slapped in the nuts!" The men in the room cringed. I calmed down. "And as for the needing a man in my life; one, I'm married and two...I AM THE MAN!!" and with that, she kicked him where it hurt again.

Ten minutes later after calming down, Keiko, Yusuke and a half asleep Kaoru could be seen leaving the lounge where it had all gone down. Yusuke looked down at his frowning wife.

"Remind me to never live you alone with Hiei." He said smirking. He arm sliding over her shoulders, while the other sifted the sleeping toddler on his hip.

Keiko couldn't't help but smile at his joke. Then she looked back up to him. "So much for having a peaceful class reunion. Yusukes smirk widened.

"So...'you're the man', huh?"

Keiko snorted. Compared with his whining-

"Of course."

**END.**

**(A/N: I do not own YYH in any way. Please review.)**


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